on my mind

quitting my gym membership and using next month's saved payment to buy cold weather running gear.
can i just go for a run in my winter coat and big snow boots? sometimes i do it for a short distance

how much it all matters, if it even does

why i have such a lack of interest in talking to most people
where the disconnect comes from, daydream head

how I can feel the differences, how I like them

my day is always ok by the end, because the moment I walk out of my office I am attacked by 4 & 5 year old hugs

trying to be patient, trying not to rush towards whatever it is I am rushing towards
trying not to assume what I need or want. slowing down, letting him slow me down, trying, still figuring out rest.

Letting go of time, doing what I am given to do instead of always creating things I think I should do
not driving to quickly into things that I am given

music, finding a reason, finding the words

how strange it is to hardly ever think about that person anymore, as if that long duration of time was just a moment that just passed through
memories compressed

if I am waiting for things to be perfect am I just waiting for something that will never come? maybe it is true, in this place at least, for this time.
Why do I expect my desires and dreams to be taken into consideration in a world like this?
looking for the concentrated beauty, appreciating it

working with my 5th graders is one of my favorite parts of my day. I used to sort of not look forward to it, but I have been finding a bunch of great articles of recent news topics to read and discuss with them, and they have such wonderful thoughts to share, and ask so many great questions.
It's so exciting to watch children learn.

i was asked to develop some after school art courses for kids at my school, which is exciting and exactly what drives the very reason I got into my job in the first place, but I'm worried about being maxed out.
I guess I don't need much time to do anything else between waking and sleeping. Anyway I'm excited about what I proposed

I can't believe it is almost a year since I started this whole change in my life, it is bizarre how much has happened in the last year. it gives me hope
new things are coming, always

taking in life
being the honest
loving what is put in front of me instead of searching for ideals

kta

selective colors

we all have the same obsessions, depressions, expressions, suppressions, impressions, desires
we are all selective, objective, rejective, and it all means the same thing in one way or another

he must feel the same way

milk and honey will heat you up, sweet you up, hold you down
to the ground you stand on, you'll float on, till the weight gets thick
a weight enough to keep you still
rest here.
for gravity controls you, it pulls you
milk and honey will hold you down

and in time all our thoughts will be stuck behind

kta

a dated piece

it's gotten better or worse since I started living alone
I used to live with a friend who would check my bed before I went to sleep in it, one time she found a pair of scissors, open.
If I had found it I probably would have just pushed it aside or have thrown it on the ground, neither choice is less hazardous nor put out more or less effort.

Once I took a picture of my old apartment. It was not until I saw the picture that I realized that all the cabinets and drawers in my place were wide open. I discovered a lot of other things that I had not seen before.

kta